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Writer's pictureDamien Blaauw

Experiences trump Things

Updated: Apr 6, 2018



I have always been of the mind that I wanted to show my kids something different to what I experienced growing up, and the motivation is simply that I want them to surpass me in all aspects. I believe that is incumbent on every parent who wants their offspring to be productive, contributing members to society.


We live in an age where kids are more concerned with the price attached to things as opposed to the value of things. I saw this first-hand with my son when I was travelling extensively for work at a time. He would put in all sorts of requests for stuff as I was leaving and when I was away, which I got for him out of guilt for not having been around and the resultant effect was that our relationship become really transactional and the emotional content was forgone. I would arrive back home and my daughter would rush to greet me and tell me that she'd missed me, and my son would barely greet and simply ask me what I bought him or whether I had gotten what he had asked for. I was greatly disturbed by this development and it had me scratching my head and trying to find solutions to this dilemma, so much so that I prayed for a sign or better yet a solution. I am fully aware that nothing in life comes along without sacrifice and hard work, so I was not just expecting a solution to be gift wrapped for me. The answer came soon after I had put it out to the universe, and from a totally unlikely source, a really good friend from primary school. He had been following me on Facebook and noticed that I had lots of love for travel, so he reached out to me and asked me about some of the posts I had on Facebook about travel. I indicated to him that those were just places that I would "one day" hope to get to see, and that it was "aspirational" at best. We met up and had a good catch up around what the last few years had treated us like and all sorts of other catch up items, when the conversation turned to travel. He asked me a simple question: "If I showed you a way to travel more, would you be interested?" I was keen as punch and soon I had joined a Lifestyle Club and I was most definitely not ready for the kick my life would be getting! We talked about those "aspirational" places that I would like to go and see, and my friend told me that all of it would be within my grasp. The one thing I was told is that life would never be the same, and boy oh boy was he right!


The family was on a trip within the first few months of being in the Lifestyle Club, being my kids' first official flight, and also their first real 4 to 5 star vacation experience. The family was pampered from the start to the end of the trip, having been waited on hand and foot for the entire stay and lapping up the full VIP treatment the Lifestyle Club offers. We went up Table Mountain in the middle of the day on Saturday, and we did not have to wait in the long winding queue that was half way down the mountain. We were dropped off right at the entrance and proceeded to get straight onto the cable car and straight up the mountain. All our meals were taken care of, meaning we did not have any out of pocket expenses other than personal shopping.


A few short months later, we were on yet another little vacation, only this time it was to the magical Sun City for an experience the kids would soon not forget! A welcome reception at the Gary Player Country Club kicked off the proceedings followed by an evening at our leisure where the kids got to explore Sun City in all it's splendor. The next day started off with an incredible buffet breakfast and the entire day at the Valley of Waves at no additional cost. The kids had an absolute ball while we lounged in the sun and connected with some other Lifestyle Club members from other countries. The evening was kicked off with a short game drive followed by a huge barbecue/braai spread for all the Lifestyle Club members with ample entertainment for all and loads of space for the kids to play. The food as always was amazing, but the highlight for me was watching my kids, more so my son, meeting other kids from other countries and just expressing himself without any restriction. He was coming out of his shell and seeing him as happy as that was all the more satisfying for me, as he was slowly starting to see how rewarding experiences could be. The kids talked about the trip for months after we had returned home, telling everyone who would listen.



I was taken back to my initial discussion with my friend about the "aspirational" places I wanted to see, and Disneyland was one of the places in question that I felt would always be just a dream, and all of a sudden our conversation moved to actually going to Disneyland in a short few months. The dream that seemed a bridge too far for me in my lifetime was now going to be brought to life and I could not believe that a simple decision to change mine as well as my family's lives could have such an impact and I could not believe how powerful this Lifestyle Club was! Fast forward five months and I was on my way to Orlando and Cancun for what would be the most pivotal experience in my life to date, and what a shift it brought not only to my life, but more importantly to my mindset. I found myself wandering the expanses of Epcot Center at Disneyland thinking of how impactful the visit was for me, as I had in my lifetime brought a childhood dream to life and all I could think about was how this would blow my kids away! I wasn't thinking about all the reasons why a trip for them would not be possible, instead I was visualizing them walking around the theme park with me and I could visibly see the reactions on their faces, making the thought tangible for me. In Cancun, I could see the kids just having themselves an awesome time exploring lost cities and ancient civilizations as well as experiencing potentially one of the most beautiful stretch of beaches and oceans I had seen in my life to date. I arrived back home after that trip and there was no doubt in my mind that I was taking the family back to experience the beauty and splendor I had seen while travelling to these amazing places. I spoke to the kids and put the options out to them as a means of testing their appetite as well as seeing what they would want to do without me influencing the decision. I was almost certain in my mind that they would opt for Cancun, but to my surprise, the choice they collectively came up with was Disneyland and New York and not Cancun as I had played it out in my mind. I was intrigued by the choice, so I quizzed them on why they had made that selection and the response was well-thought through and I could see that quite a bit of research had gone into the choice. I was being told about what was on offer in New York, as well as what it would cost and that is where I saw how the travel bug had bitten my kids and also how it had expanded their minds to look holistically at what going to any place entailed. The kids had literally been able to tell me about famous sites in the city, costs, the food on offer as well as what type of weather to expect. I was dumbfounded as well as very impressed with them, seeing how my choice to give them experiences over things had started them on a path of discovery as well as having instilled a ravenous curiosity around travel. We got their visas sorted and started the planning in all earnest as the kids had settled on a destination.


The plans were set and the itinerary was enticing to say the least, as we had set up quite the adventure for ourselves. A flight to Doha, then a connecting flight to New York, followed by a drive to Ohio, then a flight to Orlando, after which we would fly back to New York before heading back to Johannesburg via Doha. I felt a bit daunted, given that I would hop off a 21 hour flight and jump straight into an 8 hour road trip, but the excitement of ticking off a bucket list item was a stronger driving force. The kids were so excited the night before our departure, so getting them to bed was a mission and then as could be expected, they were up at the crack of dawn, bags packed and ready to tackle the two flights that awaited us. The kids were asking questions about the passport control and Visa control checkpoints, and they wanted to handle their own documentation, which was a good indicator that they were hungry for their independence. The boarding process was interesting, as they knew what their seat numbers were and once boarded, couldn't wait to find their own seats and settle in with the on-board entertainment system, and my daughter was all to keen to find out about what food was to be served and when. The kids were blown away when they arrived in Doha, as was I, given that I had not yet experienced an airport that was as technologically kitted out as that and it was literally like a top end mall as well with every possible store one would need. We hopped the next flight and were en-route to New York with the kids showing some signs of fatigue, but also a healthy heap of excitement. Once on-board the next flight the kids seemed to get a second wind and that just

meant that they would be fed more and that

they would be playing more games and watching more movies. The cabin crew even gave them activity packs to keep them entertained in case they got bored of playing with the online games. The flight was pleasant and the kids were thoroughly hydrated and fed, not to mentioned educated, as they were able to track the different time zones as well as follow the flight path of the plane. I was gobsmacked at how fascinated they were with all of this and the questions that followed. The kids got to see how the sun lit up a portion of the sky as well as how the other portion went dark. The closer we got to New York, the more we could feel the excitement building, as the kids were following the flight path and checking out the window to see outside, hoping to catch a glimpse of the Statue of Liberty. We landed and the excitement was so palpable, one could almost touch it as we made our way through customs and passport control. We got our rental car and were off on our road trip with excitement and on my part quite a bit of anxiety given that I was driving on the opposite side of the road as well as the opposite side of the car to boot! My anxieties were soon put to bed as I got with the program and just got on with the driving as I had eight hours to drive and there was no assistance. The kids were soon asleep as they had been up through both flights for more than 24 hours, so I had almost expected them to go to sleep. The road trip was absolutely beautiful! Littered with the most amazing green hues and fantastic landscapes, the drive was pleasant and moved along pretty quickly as we passed through many state lines and saw how the landscapes changed as we drove from one state to the next. Ohio was quite pleasant and very family oriented, with lots of open spaces and green scenery on offer, and so after spending two days there, we were off to Orlando for a week.





So off to Orlando we went for the next leg of our adventure, not in the least bit aware of what was in store for us, but we were super psyched for the experience. It was a short two hour flight with a serious amount of turbulence to the end, but we made it safely and from my last experience at that specific airport, I knew the kids were going to be blown away. We disembarked and got into the terminal which was a sensory assault on the kids as the airport is a Disney themed one, and we quickly hopped on the sky-train which dropped us off at the main terminal, where the sensory assault hit overload for the kids, as they encountered the Harry Potter, NASA, Spiderman and Mickey Mouse themed stores. The kids were almost tricked into thinking that we were at Disneyland, as they saw Disney themed buses intermittently leaving the airport, but I took them out of their delirium by telling them that we were still just only in the airport. Orlando has so much on offer for families, and it's virtually impossible for anybody to take in all the sights with just one visit and being my second visit to Orlando, I knew exactly what I still wanted to see. The main reason for the visit was of course to see Disneyland, and that was promptly prioritized, and we came to realize very quickly why it is called Disneyland. The place is massive! It has it's own highway network, just to give you a sense, and there are several theme parks on offer which in their own right are massive as well, and I automatically knew that we would have to make another trip back there. Disneyland is truly the most magical place on earth! Each section of a theme park is kitted out with the visual elements as well as the musical or sound elements of that specific theme, and then if you were not already blown away by it all, you get the smells of the food for that theme as well which just gives you a well rounded experience you will never forget. We circumvented Magic Kingdom thoroughly and got a bit of rain during the day as well which made it a pretty awesome experience and the plus was that we got to go on all the rides we had set out to go on. To say that the kids were wiped out after that experience would be an understatement!




The next day was officially a rest day, and one spent lounging around the pool for them, as we all were sore all over from the exertion at Magic Kingdom. After the day of rest we were all ready to explore some more, and Orlando dished up more fantastic entertainment that had the kids exploring a science-themed place called Wonderworks. We were taught about and got to experience the gale force of winds during a tornado, the feeling of aftershocks during earthquakes, and we got to go into a rocket ship simulator to get a sense of what astronauts experience while in space. The kids were fascinated by all the learning they experienced that day, and more importantly, they saw that learning could be fun. I had never seen the kids so enthralled by learning, and I had to claw them away from every activity they did that day for the sake of getting to see all the exhibits.

Seeing how captivated they were was definitely validation for me that our affiliation to the Lifestyle Club had more than paid me back my initial investment, and I felt that I was getting back so much more than what I had anticipated. The interesting factor for me was dealing with all the folks who had felt I was wasting my money on the Lifestyle Club, who were messaging me while we were away to ask how it was possible for us to be doing all we were doing, and all I said was that there was room for so many more people. I had no desire to tell anyone: "I told you so!", as all I wanted was for more people to experience what we were experiencing for themselves as well as their kids. I even got in on the act by experiencing the bed of nails, which made me an absolute bad-ass to my kids!

I must admit that I learned quite a bit that day as well, and it was amazing to have that experience with the kids and to actively engage them in an environment geared predominantly at learning. The Next stop was Madame Tussauds, which proved to be such a rush for my daughter and I, as we indulged our fascination with the celebrity world, and given the amount of pictures we took, it was clear that we were having too much fun! We had a mandatory place to visit based on my last visit to Orlando, and that was the Chocolate Museum, and I could not have predicted the effect that visit would have had on the kids. The level of attention they gave to the information being shared still floors me, as they can still tell me lots of interesting facts about chocolate based on that visit, not to mention that they totally indulged on the chocolate samples and hot chocolate they got on the tour. Time literally flew by in Orlando, and with all the places we had seen as well as all the different food and snacks they had experienced, it was no surprise to me that I was told that we would have to come back to Orlando soon.


We were then off to New York on another two hour flight with tons of memories and some retail therapy and some memorabilia to mark the visit. We were now focused on the "Big Apple" which was the children's collective choice and the biggest motivation for this visit was to sample all the pizza we could and of course to see the Statue of Liberty! Getting off the plane in New York was such a rush for me! You can literally feel the heartbeat of the city the minute you get off the plane, it's like the city has such a palpable pulse and it's truly something to behold and feel.We hopped a cab from JFK Airport to our hotel in Manhattan, and that was a true slice of the New York traffic experience, as it took us 45 minutes to drive 13 miles, but it was absolutely amazing for me given that we traveled on roads I had seen in movies as well as the Holland Tunnel, which just had me tearing up. We got to the hotel and did the check-in and immediately hit the town in search of an authentic New York Pie, which was not hard to find, as you find pizza joints on almost every corner! The pizza in New York is truly a marvel, and one can see the pride that

is put into every pie that is made!

The next stop after a night of rest was without question going to be Times Square, and the kids were already figuring out how to get there based on some maps that we had picked up in the hotel. The kids had an absolute ball of a time in the M&M's store which was a three floored emporium of all things M&M! Walking the streets in New York City was such an illuminating experience, as we encountered many "characters". The city truly has an identity and a feel that just spoke to me and surprisingly enough my son! He absolutely loved the place! My son ordinarily would not walk anywhere when back home, but my oh my was I taken aback at how he not only wanted to walk the entire city, but more so at how oriented he was! He constantly knew where he was and often found himself directing me as we explored the city. Night or day made no matter, as he always seemed to know where he was and how to get where we were going.

We took in so many sights, and admittedly some fears had to be faced, especially for my son when we went up the Rockefeller Center. He went all the way up with us, and was patient while we looked around and took pictures. His bravery, needless to say, was rewarded with gourmet ice cream when we got down from the top and I must say that it was quite indulgent. We followed that up with a trip to Central Park, and it just so happened to be Puerto Rico Day, so we happened to stumble on the parade en-route to Central Park. The experience was one for the senses, as we saw some truly gorgeous people, listened to some mind-blowing musical demonstrations and got to have all the smells of the different types of food that was on offer. Central Park was absolutely mind-blowingly beautiful and it is huge! We spent a few hours just watching the people and relaxing on the green grass. The kids were so amazed when we stumbled onto an 8 year old girl playing her violin in the park for money, needless to say I was asked so many questions about the phenomenon they had just experienced. We took a day out to just do some shopping and were able to take in a movie and the experience was truly one that had a marked effect on all of us. The next day we headed to the financial district as well as the legal precinct, which was absolutely nostalgic, as the kids recognized some of the buildings from movies and series they had watched. Next on the list was the Statue of Liberty, and here again, my boy had to face a fear of his in the form of the ferry that took us to Staten Island. He was once again a champ and battled through his fear to get to the Statue of Liberty, which proved to be fascinating to him.


My champ was rather ambitious after we had done the tour, and he agreed to go and see Brooklyn Bridge with me. It was a long and extremely hot walk, but he was such a trooper and kept up with me all the way and back, and we were rewarded with an awesome picture on the bridge together. The bus ride back to Times Square was quite entertaining as we got to see Manhattan Bridge as well as some other New York gems. I was especially taken with the Flatiron Building, not only for it's unusual design, but mostly because it was in quite a few movies I had seen. As it was our last night in New York, we had dinner at the Hard Rock Cafe on Times Square and my son felt that we needed to do some last minute shopping after sending his mom and sister back to the hotel. I was once again surprised by my son's sense of direction in New York, as he was able to direct me to the store he wanted to buy pizza from as well as the Mountain Dew soda he had been searching for. We once again got some snacks from New York City to take back home with us before heading back to the hotel to get some sleep before our early flight back to Johannesburg.


The trip made such a profound impact on the kids and it lives in their memories as though they had just come back from the trip, and it validated my decision to give them experiences as opposed to things. The experience left them richer and more fulfilled than any toy or inanimate object ever would, and I will continue to provide experiences for my kids as I definitely see the residual impact it has on their lives in a positive manner. They don't even remember the toys they got for Christmas, but they remember down to minute detail the experiences I have provided for them. Many would argue that it is a costly way to engage one's kids, but I would rather set the bar high, so no young upstart comes along thinking they can charm any of my kids with "stuff", because they have come to experience things on a higher level and would expect better to be charmed or fascinated by. Maybe it's the sadist in me, but my kids will not be easy targets for prospective partners who lack ambition or cannot see the value in experiences.


My aim is simply that my kids do not see the price of things, but rather the value of things. The kids are so taken with experiences, that they tell all their friends to speak to us if they want to travel and join the Lifestyle Club. The kids have come to meet so many people through our Lifestyle Club who have been to such exotic places and who travel more frequently than most, and they have now also come to a point of having their own bucket lists. I have now come to a point of showing people how to be masters of living and bringing them into our Lifestyle Club as a means of having them experience all that we have experienced and more!


People should put more life into their years as opposed to more years in their lives!


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