I grew up seeing men consistently being vilified in their communities and taken for granted by not only their partners/spouses, but by extension their kids and extended members of the family unit.
I was often confused and dumbfounded by this phenomenon, as it gave me the impression that men were the "hated" gender, and that men offered no value. I would sometimes cringe at the things women would openly say to men in public or private settings while berating and chastising them. I must admit it left me with a sense of self-loathing and confusion as I moved into my teen and adult years.
I had never heard any males discussing this treatment, as they would often retreat to vices of different kinds, but the most perplexing of all was that the self-same women who subjected these men to some horrid and berating outbursts, would always stay with these "useless" men as they often referred to them in public & private circles. I started hearing males talk about this briefly when I started working, but it was often just anecdotal conversational fillers at the watercooler. I started seeing firsthand what the inner workings of this phenomenon was when I got into relationships of my own and subsequently two failed marriages. My eyes started opening to the unspoken abuse men silently endure, which demonstrated the hypocrisy meted out to men by women and society at large.
In recent years, our society has witnessed a significant cultural shift driven by the rise of feminism and the emergence of a "woke" consciousness. While this shift has brought about much-needed progress towards gender equality, it has also presented unique challenges for men. We will explore the challenges that men face in this woke society and how they can navigate these evolving dynamics.
Redefining Masculinity
One of the primary challenges for men in today's woke society is the redefinition of masculinity. Traditional notions of manhood, often associated with strength, stoicism, and dominance, are being questioned and challenged. While this can be a positive development, it can also create confusion and uncertainty for men who are trying to find their place in this changing landscape. Men are now encouraged to embrace a more emotionally expressive and empathetic version of masculinity, which can be challenging for those who have been raised with different expectations. Striking a balance between respecting individuality and conforming to new societal expectations can be a delicate task. Toxic Masculinity and Accountability
The rise of feminism has also led to increased scrutiny of toxic masculinity – a set of behaviors and attitudes that perpetuate harmful stereotypes about men and women. While holding individuals accountable for their actions is essential, there is a risk of overgeneralization, where all men are viewed through the lens of toxic masculinity. Men may feel unfairly targeted or blamed for the actions of a few, leading to defensiveness and resistance to constructive discussions about gender issues. It's crucial to acknowledge the importance of addressing toxic behaviors while also recognizing the diversity of experiences and perspectives among men. Challenging Gender Stereotypes
Feminism has made significant strides in challenging traditional gender roles and stereotypes. While this has opened up opportunities for women, it has also placed pressure on men to reevaluate their own roles and expectations. Men may feel uncertain about how to navigate relationships, careers, and family life in a society where gender roles are less rigid. This challenge is particularly evident in parenting. Men are increasingly taking on caregiving responsibilities, but they may still face societal stigmas and stereotypes that question their ability to be nurturing and involved fathers. Communication and Consent
In a woke society, there is a heightened awareness of issues related to consent and communication in relationships. While these discussions are essential for fostering healthy relationships, they can also create anxiety and confusion for men. Some men may worry about misinterpreting signals or being falsely accused of misconduct. To navigate this challenge, it's crucial to promote clear and respectful communication in all interactions, whether they are romantic or professional. Ensuring that both parties are on the same page and have given enthusiastic consent is a shared responsibility. Allyship and Support
In the face of these challenges, it's important for men to recognize their role as allies in the pursuit of gender equality. Supporting feminist goals and advocating for gender equity can be a positive way for men to contribute to the ongoing progress. Men can engage in open dialogues, educate themselves about gender issues, and actively challenge harmful behaviors and attitudes when they encounter them. Being an ally means being willing to listen, learn, and adapt to the changing dynamics of our society. The rise of feminism and the emergence of a woke society have undoubtedly brought about important changes in the way we think about gender and equality. However, it has also presented unique challenges for men as they navigate evolving expectations and attitudes towards masculinity. To address these challenges, it is essential for men to engage in open and respectful dialogue, challenge toxic behaviors, and actively support gender equality. By working together, we can create a society where all individuals, regardless of their gender, can thrive and live free from discrimination.
Men are for the most part taken for granted, as they are bombarded with expectation from women in terms of roles they have to perform in a relationship, amounts of money they are to earn in order to "qualify" to engage with certain women, being too fast or too slow in their approaching of a woman, being too short or too tall, too skinny or too buff, too fat or to scrawny, and the list goes on.
By virtue of the fact that women posses a certain anatomical feature that they weaponize, it gives them power over men, coz let's just face it, women are not out there hunting for men over their opposite anatomical feature.
Men's feelings are minimized and invalidated by women, as the expectation is that men are not meant to complain, not meant to be thanked for what they do, not praised for the role they play in the relationship, not meant to be hyped up or spoiled, disrespected to no end, and the list can go on, but you get what I am saying.
Women are generally celebrated and idolized for being women, no high standards are attached at all, which is an automatic double standard.
I know that not all men are the model citizens we expect them to be, and they neglect their responsibilities and evade accountability, but by the same token, that can be said about some women as well.
Chris Rock once touched on this subject in a show, and he listed all the things that men are neglected for, but God forbid, you forget to say thank you to the woman in the house for anything. At the time, we had not moved into this "woke" consciousness we now find ourselves in, but one is able to see that this silent narrative has been carried along for many generations by men who were just not allowed to even raise it.
I must admit that it's really challenging being a man in this "modern" society, filled with all it's nuance and double standard. I wish we would just see each other as human beings and treat each other accordingly without trying to throw labels on each other.
I have hope for the situation, simply thanks to a couple I witnessed in the workplace. The husband is a strong proud African man who commands his space wherever he is, and his wife is a strong African woman who has the same aura about her, but she exudes humility, calm and a deep sense of respect for her husband. She is not diminished by the respect she demonstrates toward her husband, nor her reverence for him, and he in turn reciprocates the same towards her. She embodies many of her African traditions and cultural nuances, and is in no way diminished by it, as it gives her such an amazing presence where she does not need to raise her voice to be heard, and when she speaks, her authority is not questioned. Her husband once told me that there is no woman on this earth that can compare to his wife, and that she is the first person he would choose to be at his side if he needed to go to war.
I was invigorated by their example, and it has restored my faith in respecting myself for being a male, as well as the fact that a balance can in fact be struck between the two genders. I hope in some way or form the status quo moves in a direction of change.
#blaauwchronicles #donttalkaboutitbeaboutit #lifestyle #winning #dmoney #dolcevita #itsalllove #loveyours #legacy #authenticity #persistence #malebias #maleinvalidation #relationships
Comments