top of page
Writer's pictureDamien Blaauw

Relationships: Dying concept or No?


Romantic relationships have long been romanticized in literature, movies, and society as the ultimate source of happiness and fulfillment. We're taught from a young age that finding "the one" is the key to a fulfilling life. However, as we grow older and gain more life experience, it becomes evident that not all romantic relationships are worth pursuing. I have come to this realization based on my own experiences, and this is simply my postulation on romantic relationships, and I am fully cognizant of the fact that others may have different experiences and views on the subject. Let's explore some reasons why romantic relationships might not be worth it for everyone.

Independence and Freedom

One of the most significant drawbacks of romantic relationships is the potential loss of personal freedom and independence. When you enter into a romantic partnership, you often need to consider your partner's opinions, feelings, and needs in your decision-making. This can sometimes limit your ability to pursue your own interests and make choices solely for yourself. Maintaining a healthy balance between personal freedom and a relationship is challenging, and for some, the cost of sacrificing their independence may not be worth the benefits of a romantic partnership.

Emotional Rollercoaster

Love and relationships can be a rollercoaster of emotions. While the highs of love are undeniably exhilarating, they often come with the lows of heartbreak, jealousy, and insecurity. The emotional toll of romantic relationships can be exhausting and may not be worth it for those who prioritize emotional stability and well-being. We can never have a view into the other person's issues and insecurities until we have invested our time and energies into the person. I feel that it's such an unfair scenario working on yourself and trying to understand yourself, only to meet and be put up with a person who hasn't done the same and often refuses to.

Time and Energy Investment

Maintaining a romantic relationship requires a significant investment of time and energy. From planning dates to resolving conflicts, relationships can be quite demanding. For individuals with busy careers, personal goals, or other responsibilities, the time and energy required for a romantic relationship might not be justifiable. Who has the time and energy to deal with individuals with opposing views and often non-committal attitudes to critical matters in the relationship. What is the return on the investment of that time and energy?

Compatibility Issues

Not all relationships are built on a solid foundation of compatibility. Differences in values, goals, interests, and personalities can lead to constant conflicts and unhappiness in a relationship. When these differences are irreconcilable, the effort to make the relationship work might not be worth the emotional turmoil it can bring. Sadly most people do not show themselves for who they are, as we have been sold the ideal of "putting your best self forward", and sadly that becomes the biggest time waster, as there is a constant need to shift who you are to "keep" the person you are with, knowing that you have to compromise who you are to be with that person.

Financial Stress

Financial issues can strain even the strongest of relationships. Differences in spending habits, financial goals, or economic disparities can lead to constant arguments and stress. Some people may choose to forgo romantic relationships to avoid the financial burdens they can bring.

Fear of Heartbreak

One of the most common reasons why some individuals choose to avoid romantic relationships is the fear of heartbreak. Opening oneself up to love can make a person vulnerable to pain and disappointment. For some, guarding their heart and avoiding romantic relationships altogether is a way to protect themselves from potential heartbreak.

Fulfillment in Other Areas

Lastly, not everyone derives their sense of fulfillment from romantic relationships. Some people find their purpose, happiness, and satisfaction in other aspects of life, such as career achievements, friendships, hobbies, or personal growth. For these individuals, the pursuit of a romantic relationship may not be a priority. While romantic relationships can be incredibly rewarding and fulfilling for many people, it's essential to recognize that they may not be the right path for everyone. The decision to pursue a romantic relationship should be a personal one, based on individual values, goals, and circumstances. It's perfectly valid to prioritize other aspects of life over romantic relationships or to choose to remain single if that is what brings you the most happiness and contentment. Ultimately, the worth of a romantic relationship depends on the individual and their unique circumstances and preferences.


I have always had an idealistic view of romantic relationships, but life will humble you, and you will eventually see things for what they are. I mentioned "Return on Investment" above, and in as much as most would argue that such a metric cannot be used in the context of a romantic relationship, I would beg the question why not?

I am expected to invest my time in another person, simply to be disrespected, ignored, marginalized and stepped on by virtue of being with that person? Is that a good value proposition? I know the reverse can also be true, as people experience each other in different ways, but the principle remains. Is that a good value proposition?

To each his own. We all need to do what works for us, but the question still remains. Relationships: Dying concept or No?



15 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Comments


bottom of page