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Writer's pictureDamien Blaauw

I Have Come To Learn...

Updated: Feb 2




As I sit down to reflect on my journey of over 40 years as a man, I realize that life has been an intricate tapestry of experiences, lessons, and growth. From the innocence of childhood to the complexities of adulthood, each phase has shaped my understanding of what it means to be a man in today's world. Here are some of the invaluable lessons I've learned along the way.


  1. Vulnerability is Strength: For the longest time, I believed that strength meant projecting an image of stoicism and invincibility. However, over the years, I've come to understand that true strength lies in vulnerability. Opening up about our fears, insecurities, and emotions fosters deeper connections with others and allows for authentic relationships to flourish.

  2. Empathy Matters: Empathy is not just a desirable trait; it's a cornerstone of meaningful human interaction. Understanding and resonating with the experiences of others fosters compassion and fosters a sense of community. As a man, embracing empathy has allowed me to break down barriers and forge genuine connections with people from all walks of life.

  3. Respect is Earned, Not Demanded: Respect cannot be coerced or demanded; it must be earned through actions, integrity, and empathy. Treating others with kindness, humility, and dignity cultivates mutual respect and fosters harmonious relationships in both personal and professional spheres.

  4. Embracing Change is Essential: Change is inevitable, and embracing it is essential for personal growth and adaptation. Whether navigating career transitions, relationship dynamics, or societal shifts, being open to change allows for resilience and the opportunity to evolve into the best version of oneself.

  5. Authenticity Breeds Fulfillment: Living authentically—true to one's values, beliefs, and passions—is paramount to personal fulfillment. Embracing authenticity empowers us to pursue our dreams unabashedly, live with purpose, and find meaning in every facet of life.

  6. Communication is Key: Effective communication is the cornerstone of healthy relationships and successful endeavors. Learning to express oneself clearly, actively listen, and navigate conflicts constructively fosters mutual understanding and strengthens interpersonal bonds.

  7. Self-Care is Non-Negotiable: In the pursuit of our ambitions and obligations, it's easy to neglect our own well-being. However, prioritizing self-care—physically, mentally, and emotionally—is crucial for sustained vitality and fulfillment. Whether through mindfulness practices, hobbies, or seeking support when needed, nurturing oneself is a prerequisite for thriving in all aspects of life.

  8. Humility Cultivates Growth: Embracing humility and acknowledging our limitations fosters a growth mindset and cultivates a willingness to learn and evolve. Recognizing that we are perpetual students of life enables us to embrace challenges, glean wisdom from failures, and continuously strive for self-improvement.

  9. You May Never Be Appreciated: As a man, I recognize the privilege and responsibility inherent in showing appreciation for good deeds that come your way, it's been a teaching my parents instilled in me. I have however come to understand that your good deeds and nature is often abused and overlooked, and with some people, even becoming an inherent expectation for which no appreciation or gratitude is shown. I have come to appreciate a saying that demonstrates this, which says: "You could lie down for someone to walk all over you and they would still complain that you're not lying straight enough". Make peace with the fact that you may never be appreciated for who you are or what you do for others.

  10. Gratitude is the Key to Abundance: Cultivating an attitude of gratitude unlocks a wealth of joy, contentment, and resilience amidst life's myriad challenges and triumphs. Reflecting on the blessings—big and small—that enrich our lives fosters a profound sense of abundance and imbues each moment with meaning and significance.

In essence, my journey of over 40 years as a man has been a tapestry woven with myriad experiences, lessons, and insights. From embracing vulnerability and empathy to advocating for appreciation of good deeds, each lesson has contributed to my growth as an individual and shaped my understanding of masculinity in today's world. As I continue along this journey, I am committed to embracing authenticity, fostering empathy, and cultivating a life rich in purpose, gratitude, and meaningful connections.


Looking back, this is what I have come to learn.

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