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Writer's pictureDamien Blaauw

Hey Dad, Can You Hear Me?


The role of fathers in the development of children is often undervalued and overlooked in today's society. While mothers undoubtedly play a critical role in nurturing and raising children, it is equally important to recognize the unique contributions that fathers make to their children's growth and well-being. I have on many occasions said that I am not parent material, and that I had never wanted to have kids, but having become a father, irrespective of the fact that it twice ended in divorce, I came to see the importance of being a father. I had in my own experience of living through a divorce as a child, seen how critical a role my father played in my life and upbringing, being lucky enough to see my parents get back together. I cannot however deny the profound effect that had on me as a child initially, but I remember my father coming to see us everyday, and keeping continuity with his presence made such a difference for me. In this blog post, we will explore the reasons why fathers are essential in the development of kids and why their involvement is crucial for a child's overall development.


  1. Emotional Development: Fathers play a significant role in fostering a child's emotional development. Their involvement helps children develop a sense of security, self-esteem, and emotional resilience. Fathers typically bring a distinct style of parenting that complements the nurturing style of mothers. Their active engagement in a child's life provides a diverse range of emotional experiences, promoting healthy emotional growth. The problem is that most fathers don't realize this and therefore miss out on a great opportunity with their kids in this respect.

  2. Positive Role Models: Fathers serve as vital role models for their children, especially for boys. They provide a living example of how to navigate the world with strength, integrity, and resilience. Boys often look up to their fathers as their first male role models, learning important lessons about responsibility, work ethics, and positive masculinity(I know that toxic masculinity has become a thing, but in a perfect world, please indulge me). Similarly, daughters learn about healthy relationships(indulge me here as well, as we now see toxic femininity & emasculated male presence playing a devastating role) and gain insight into how they should expect to be treated by observing their fathers' interactions. If only some fathers understood that their daughters learn how to be treated in relationships from observing how they treat their spouses.

  3. Cognitive Development: Fatherly involvement has been linked to improved cognitive development in children. Research suggests that fathers engage in more challenging and stimulating play activities, which promote problem-solving skills, spatial awareness, and enhanced cognitive abilities. Fathers tend to engage in more rough-and-tumble play, which fosters children's motor skills and cognitive flexibility, contributing to their overall cognitive development.

  4. Language and Communication Skills: Father-child interactions play a vital role in fostering language and communication skills. Fathers often engage in playful and stimulating conversations, introducing new vocabulary and encouraging children to express themselves. Their unique communication style(both my daughters as well as my son are grammar nazi’s due to my insistence on proper language use), which may be more direct and goal-oriented, complements the nurturing and empathetic communication style of mothers, providing children with a broader range of communication experiences.

  5. Discipline and Boundaries: Fathers contribute to establishing structure, discipline, and setting boundaries in a child's life. Their presence helps children understand the importance of rules, responsibilities, and consequences. Fatherly discipline often emphasizes independence, self-control, and respect for authority, which are essential for a child's social and moral development. The combination of firm yet loving guidance from both parents creates a balanced environment for children to thrive.

  6. Building Healthy Relationships: Children who have involved fathers tend to develop healthier relationships later in life. Through their interactions with their fathers, children learn essential skills like empathy, conflict resolution, and effective communication, which are fundamental for establishing and maintaining healthy relationships. Positive father-child relationships also serve as a template for future relationships, influencing children's expectations and understanding of what a healthy partnership should be(once again, with all things being equal, in a perfect world, this stands & I am fully aware that there are many fathers who sadly fail in this respect).


Fathers play a crucial and unique role in the development of their children. Their involvement contributes to a child's emotional, cognitive, and social development, shaping them into well-rounded individuals.

Recognizing and appreciating the importance of fathers in a child's life is vital for promoting positive parenting practices and creating a nurturing environment that allows children to flourish.

By encouraging and supporting fathers in their parenting journey, we can collectively foster healthier and happier generations to come. Fathers do however need to be open to play this role in the lives of their children and understand the critical role we play in shaping our kids and their futures.

We massively underestimate our impact on their lives, simply because it’s easier to placate them with money and things as opposed to giving them time and experiences, as we perpetuate bad male stereotypes and behaviors.

We often don’t hear our kids calling out to us “Hey Dad can you hear me? Dad do you see me?” At the core of it, all that anyone wants in life, is to be seen and heard. As fathers, it's so easy to not hear our kids call out to us, as we seem to tune out of hearing their calls as both us and them age over time. One can really see the critical role we as fathers have to play in the lives of our kids, as well as the incumbent responsibility we have towards their development emotionally as well as physically.

I can truly see why being an active father is vitally important for my kids.


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