We have all at some point both heard and used the phrase "If the shoe fits, wear it", and generally the usage of the phrase is for the purposes of condescending, putting someone in their place or putting someone down.
The problem with the usage of the phrase is that the tone with which it is used is normally one of judgement or condemnation.
We all are guilty in respect of that because it somehow justifies us and makes us feel better than or superior to whoever the victim upon whom the phrase is spewed on. The problem with doing that, is that we generally pass our judgements with a partial understanding of the facts or situations, given that we generally do not see the full picture.
The problem highlighted, points to our inability to see or accept alternative views or perceptions. Our inability to deal with alternative views or perceptions is a massive problem, given that it limits our ability to relate to and understand others and furthermore makes us horrible people to be around.
We generally never truly understand marriages, divorces, parenting or the death of a loved one until it happens to us, and similarly, we can never truly understand other people's situations or challenges, as we do not experience them in the way the next person experiences them, simply because their paradigms kick in, taking the lead in the behavior or response to whatever is being experienced. We tend to think we are smarter than most until our turn comes around and life humbles us.
The ability to be able to see and understand alternative views and perspectives is what sets intuitive people apart from the masses.
We generally experience such people as being empathetic, non-judgmental and engaging. People will generally be drawn to such individuals, given that they give others a sense of safety, a sense of not only being heard, but also a sense of being understood. In a world were society can be cold, unforgiving, harsh and vindictive, experiencing these intuitive people who are most definitely few and far between, is always a comfort and a Godsend.
We need to look at why passing judgement and condemnation on others has become so commonplace and acceptable in our society.
Simply put, as I had stated earlier, it is done as a means of feeling superior to or better than our peers. We do however find, on deeper inspection, that this behavior is shaped by our upbringing, and then honed over time by our own personal experiences. We tend to want to inflict pain on others as a result of what we have experienced or in order to intentionally belittle others in that pursuit of making ourselves look or feel better, and this, at the expense of our victims.
Deeper introspection into this phenomenon leads us to the experiences we have encountered and the paradigms that exist known and unbeknown to us.
Our views on other people are often based on second hand information passed down from others or our perceptions of them. More often than not, we sit with an impression or view of the next person, based on somebody else's perception of that person without getting to know or understand the person.
We make nasty comments, ridicule and condemn the next person in total ignorance due to our own lack of application in trying to first understand the person. Our deep seated paradigms control us simply because we are not aware that we are even being controlled by a paradigm. Let's just think about it for a moment. How often do we say things like: "You reap what you sow", "Money is the root of all evil", "Every dog has his day"?
We are able to repeat these things verbatim, and without any real thought, but what we fail to see is that our judgements and prejudices sit in these phrases. The usage of the phrases happen so unconsciously, and yet so frequently that we hardly even realize that we are controlled by them. The phrases are the subtly embedded paradigms that control us and our interactions from whence our judgements and condemnations stem.
The last few weeks have brought all these factors sharply into contrast for me, as I have come face to face with many revelations of how people close to me are controlled by various paradigms that hold them hostage without them even being aware of it.
We would then ask the question: "How exactly do you figure this?". Simple!
All we need do is look at ourselves and those around us and observe the way we conduct ourselves, the things we say and the things we do.
All our behaviors, beliefs and actions are habitually learned and almost everything we do is habitual!
I have come to see over the last two years how deeply ingrained paradigms are and also how the greater majority of people are unconsciously plodding along without so much as a clue that they are governed and behave on the impulses of said paradigms.
We just need to take a deeper look at definitions or classifications such as selfishness, rudeness, bluntness, emotionless, etc. which we freely label people with and accordingly pass judgement and condemnation on them for.
On deeper inspection, we find that the paradigms they operate under actually manifests in those behavioral patterns.
Don't get me wrong, some people are actually fully aware of the fact that they are selfish, vindictive, judgmental and whatever else we experience them to be, and they act that way willingly and without any remorse. People who do this willingly choose to act out those behaviors, but more often than not are oblivious to the fact that a specific paradigm is at play. Individuals like these have some level of self awareness, but are generally not entirely sure of why they exhibit certain behavioral patterns even though they own those behavioral patterns.
I have been able to deduce from all of this that people's unconscious submission to the controls of the various paradigms actually changes the "If the shoe fits, wear it" phrase to more of a question around "Does the shoe actually fit?" .
People's lack of self awareness clouds many personal insights from them, as they don't see their behaviors as selfish, careless, vindictive or whatever the case may be. Such people just float through life being led by the various paradigms they have been exposed to and often label themselves as emotional, simply because they have not taken the time to do introspection to fully understand why they do what they do.
All we can really do is not stand in judgement of such people, and be fully cognizant of their lack of self awareness. We are simply to ask ourselves the question "Does the shoe fit?"
#blaauwchronicles #donttalkaboutitbeaboutit #arkanelifestyle #reflection #introspection #paradigms #energyneverlies #dolcevita #itsalllove #loveyours #legacy #authenticity #selfdevelopment
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